A Competent Man
I want to become capable.
So he does not solve my problems for me, but can support me.
I want to become independent.
So I don't do house chores all day while he works.
I want to become someone with dignity.
So I do not depend on him for money.
I want to be become strong mentally as well as physically.
So I don't ask for his help on every little thing.
Most of all I want to become a competent man as soon as possible.
So I am my own man and SO I can stand upright next to him.
I think there is a saying around “Just because you are born a male, doesn't make you a man”, and a homo-male at that! Although my fantasy is to have a handsome, tall prince to swoop in and save my life (thank you Disney Movies), I have recently been thinking about how surreal that is. Whenever I have a problem at home or feel insecure, it would be awesome if my knight in shining armor would be there to comfort me and work everything out, but as with any
homo relationship, there must be a standard. That's where A Competent Man came from, a reoccurring thought in my head that will be my standard. I haven't been able to fully put it into practice yet, but it is for when I do have a relationship (hopefully someday). As for now it helps me keep motivated and to know that I have to be self-dependent first and mature before I can fall in love. Much of the times I lose my patience, but it is a reminder that I want to and have to become competent.
Endnote: My friend once told me that the person who loses their temper loses the argument. But how come I do not feel like a winner.