Sunday, August 30, 2009

Troublesome Humor or Humorous Trouble?

Mailbox, you and I end here...

I went home and asked my friend for advice on what I should do about Fred's books. And she said I should take his books with me and leave a note in his mailbox to tell him I had it. Honestly, I thought that was kind of creepy-ish, though I really have no right to say that after trying to open every mailbox in the whole place. Well I decided to stop by the office while my housemate and I were waiting for the bus to go on to campus anyways. I went to check the locker to see if his books were there, thankfully yes, and I also showed her how my key opens Fred's mailbox just as easily as it does our compartment. Off I went then to report my problem, but the office people were really confused with what happened here. I'm just relieved they didn't press me on the issue that I should have gone home and looked for my mailbox number instead of...y'know. Well they seemed to grasp the concept after a few more explanations of what mailbox I opened, why the key wouldn't come out, and that books were still left unlocked in the open. And actually they came up with the most reasonable solution to the overly complicated mess I got myself into, just go deliver the books to the guy myself. Wow, that was simple. Was I too dumbfounded by my mailbox situation that I couldn't figure that out? Maybe. I sprinted out, all excited that I'm finally doing the right reparations to fix this. It was all about to be resolved! I grabbed the locker handle and opened the locker....the books...were GONE!! I freaked out! What are the chances that in the 10 minutes I last checked it, it would be missing?!?! Probability sucks, chance sucks, so for the last time I decided to open his mailbox, and found out his usual letters and newspaper were also taken. I'm supposing now that Fred was the person that got all his mail as well as his books since that's all I could really hope for! Well most likely it is what happened as I went back to the office and they told me not to worry about it anymore, and then I thought about it again.

Many things in my life seem to resolve itself without me really doing anything. The only difference between me reporting and not reporting the mix up is the knowledge I tried my best to fix the situation. It seems my life may be planned to be undramatic, rarely any friend fights, never any illicit trysts. Boring? But I'm not complaining, people who look for stress will find it. And perhaps I was as lucky as originally thought, I didn't have to get officially involved with Fred and he never had to know about me opening his mailboxes, several times. Thanks Fred for checking for your own books, and we will most likely never meet.

If Fred looked anything like him, maybe I would've missed not meeting him


i'm just dreaming

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Have my entries just flopped over and dried up to a carcass of what it originally was in the summer?

Yes, this is what I think and I had to force myself to realize I'm really not taking the time to update, not to mention not even trying my best to practice writing. Guilt and laziness have been having a competition this past week and without saying, laziness won the last 6 days. This guilt stems from me not staying consistent , it's just been very easy to get carried away by the current at college. The only reason guilt could finally overcome laziness, what I know of as the reigning champion of moods in me, was the little bits of motivation from you guys' entries. Collectively, you guys have chipped away my apathetic exterior. Overtime the small pieces of feelings and thoughts left behind from reading other blog entries began to light my fuel again. The embers begin to glow again, although, this fire still feels cold to the touch. To not leave a part of my soul behind, I will quickly write some things I wanted to write full blog entries for, but procrastinated. Now it's just a glimpse back.

I live at a townhouse this year and all the mailboxes of every house in the community is placed in one area. When school hadn't started yet, in my boredom, I went to check the mail. By the time I got to the area of 10 mailboxes, each divided into 16 smaller boxes, I realized I never looked up which box out of the 160 boxes was mine. I live in the last row of houses in the community, so I decided to try my luck. At the time I didn't really calculate accurately so I impulsively decided to try opening them all. It got awkward at times when other community neighbors drove near the area, I had to act naturally, exactly the opposite of a creeper trying to unlock the whole place's mailbox. After around ...25...26...27th box my key went in the hole and turned. Like striking gold, I felt ecstatic that today I was a pretty lucky man.

Inside was a pile of white letterings and newspaper. I looked on the address of the mail and it read Frederick S----, but I concluded that it was just the last year's resident's name and mail. I was completely ignorant of the fact that the address listed below the name was not my house's address. I pressed on. Also a key to the locker for bigger packages laid in the mailbox. This key convinced me, if I wasn't already, since I was waiting for my books to arrive this week as well. To my fault, I opened the bigger locker and there were at least 5 books in there! Whoa! All my books already shipped here? Probability must have shut its mouth for the day, lucky me~ Actually it had the last word, written in the same exact words of "Frederick S----". Astonishment, realization, and that order I got it all wrong. The mailbox I opened wasn't mine, it belonged to Fred. Yea, that must be why the address printed did not even have the same street as mine. Well, I thought "I'll put the locker key in his mailbox again so he can get his books later." I closed the locker door and tried to take out the key, but it wouldn't even budge! The second barrage of Ari struck. I'm really battling luck today. The key was only suppose to open the locker once and the mailman was suppose to pick up the key after the rightful person opened it and retrieved the contents. So now the locker was left opened to the public, it can also be stolen... the community office was closed so I had no other solution left. Well I did lock up his mailbox, it was the least I could manage after a series of frown-face :( events. I mean I was so sure of myself, my key opened the box, it must be my mailbox. So I left the locker with his books there unlocked, unable to think of a resolution and begging that not stealing is still a virtue.

It's not over!! I don't understand how I ended up writing so much that I need to explain the second day of this accident in another post, perhaps I really have been deprived of writing x] I thought I could fit all 3 things I wanted to share in this one post, guess not!

Pictures I took around the same time frame this happened, all from my cell.

On the road driving to my college house

The scenery was so incredible I took many pictures of it. Is God coming? ;)

The biggest rainbow I've ever seen in my life happened that week too!

When my housemate moved in, we went out to my favorite Thai restaurant in the quiet city.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A little Something Personal

I write about weddings, things in my imagination, and relationships with my family and friends, but I would like to finally share a few personal things. I’ve been yearning to write a casual post, something un-profound and pertaining to my private life.

Foremost of all, I’m returning to college today, in about an hour I’m going to head to my newly leased apartment living with one guy and two girls, all Taiwanese, coincidentally haha. One guy and girl are brothers and sisters, and no worries for me since I have absolutely no attraction to my roommate. That’s not an insult to him though! He already has a gf in California anyways. My mother really approves of me cooking for myself at school so yesterday we shopped 5-6 bags of groceries for things I need to cook. Thanks Mom =)

I’m a sophomore (2nd year) in college and I’m a computer science major, but I’m not sure if I want to stick in that major. My very kind Uncle also works in the computer field, he is quite proud I’m studying in his field, but I just can’t be confident that this is the right path for me. I only stick with it because it’s a viable option as a decent career (makes $$) and lack of a better interest. What does my father think? I have no idea because he still lives in Taiwan, all by himself.

I’ve also committed a dastardly deed, repeatedly, for one week. I drove the car without a license! As illegal as it is, I did not feel too guilty since I only drove about a quarter of a mile (.5 km???), just to the library. I was surprised I was daring enough to drive by myself, but I also learned when I do something for myself, I get the most out of it.

Also I wanted to impart to you bloggers how appreciative I am for all of you guys. Thanks for reading (even commenting with your helpful knowledge and experiences), more importantly, thank you for writing your own blogs. It’s indescribable how much it has helped me to develop and mature in my thinking. For once in my life I feel like I’m not alone in my situation as a gay. I could always relate to my friends in their problems and endeavors as normal or as abnormal as they were. But who could relate to me? As a closeted gay, I could not reach out to anyone and that feeling only grows worse the longer you keep it to yourself. But just revealing that fact online, telling even one soul, where we can share stories, support each other, even as the strangest of strangers…that was enough for me. Actually I was wrong, this has been more than I could ever have asked for. Thank you very much everyone, especially Mr. n, you know who you are!!
I was thinking of adding a picture of me would be a fitting end to this post, because really I don’t feel like we’re strangers at all anymore.

Perhaps you cannot call me your friend, but at least I know we’re more than mere acquaintances now.

Ironically I divulge so much information and pictures of events that anyone who knows me in real life or on facebook would know I wrote all of it, although this blog is actually suppose to be anonymous!! But sometimes even I forget that :)

I wish I looked like this

p.s.I apologize that you have to read the whole post to pick out any info on me!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Watching love from the sidelines can be painful, but this time it surely didn’t feel like it.

It seemed like everyone at my table was getting along quite well. The camaraderie between these strangers bloomed well under the happy mood of the wedding. I was next to my sister, but she was being well attended to by the guy next to her, but I had little care about my own well-being because I was also deeply under the influence of the intoxicating mood. The environment was a perfect buffer against those lonely thoughts: “Where’s my hubby-to-be?” “Will that cute guy glance my way again since he nodded to me at the church?” “Could two guys’ wedding be as beautiful as this?”. I never answered them, I just stopped wondering; there just was no time to lose focus on myself. Optimism paved the way forward, and as that future path cleared in my head, I turned up in time to notice the light as well as the chatter dimming. A beautiful jazz sound permeated the room, sweeping through the room and stilling the air, or what also felt like the time around us.

The groom extended a hand to his bride; it was as much a gesture of his manners as it was an offering of his heart to hers. Fortunately the dim lighting conveniently helped to conceal her blushing face, just in case she did. All eyes were on the eminent couple of this night, they could withstand our gaze though, well, they probably weren’t even able to notice their surroundings. At that moment I thought they could think of nothing else except for each other. They walked to the center of the stage where they began to dance tightly within each other’s embrace, moving slowly and romantically. Her small hands were rested on his shoulders, he held her up and she became his support. Partners in dance and now partners in life. Now I was thankful for the dark room that hid my teary eyes. Seriously, the background jazz instrumental of 月亮代表我的心 (The Moon Represents My Heart) did little to keep our emotions from getting flustered and our tears at bay. The groom guided my friend with his forceful, yet gentle steps. Her feet swiftly stepped the ground and she followed his lead because she knew she could trust him. Their waltz ended up being a direct translation of their assuredness for each other. We could all sense how special this moment was for them, but it influenced us as well. I could feel their tenderness for one another, I could see his intangible love for her, and I could hear the music echoing her matching feelings right back to him. It was suffocating, in the way that their movements took my breath away. They moved in a languid fashion until the song of eternal love came to an end. Did time freeze right there? I know it did for them. But to not be rude to their guests they returned from their world, temporarily back to ours.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

A Toast to a Wedding of Success

I hope my love will grow to be like theirs

At the altar they stood, looking lovingly into each other eyes while holding onto one another, saying those coveted words of “I do”. Now their lives are entangle until death do they part, together they are one, standing for one marriage with completely bounded hearts. The bride and groom's mother proceeded to light the wedding candle, signifying their family are now irrevocably intertwined. The exception being that the candles of the couple's hearts have not just been lit, it has only been spurred to a glorious blaze. In the same reference of time, I was grinning with excitement and graciousness just at the thought of how I witnessed such a magnificent and joyous occasion.
It was only last saturday that I attended family friend's wedding, but very grateful I could accompany them on one of their happiest day of their lives. In short, it was absolutely beautiful; besides the impressively picked décor, I am mainly talking about the couple's interaction. That was what stood out, what stunned me almost to happy, yet melancholic tears. The ceremony was touching, but perhaps it was more exciting for us observers as evidenced by all the cameras flashing like twinkling stars do on the most serene of nights. Of course I was on board with the rest of the wedding crew, spazzing my index finger over , click after click, as the saying goes “if you can't beat them, join them!” Thankfully the wedding procedurals were kept to a minimum; the mother's candle lighting, the pastor's blessings, the vow exchange, the ring exchange, the husband and wife candle lighting, and the climactic Kiss. *mwah* This part of the wedding happened so fast that I believe my constant picture taking captured enough. Thankfully, my sister was right besides me, clicking away, the perfect photographer's companion. As the event inside the church ended, the events outside began. We hurried out as the time for the wedding reception was right around the corner. Hold up though, before that, we needed wanted to take a few family pictures. Since many of our family members got to attend, including my first uncle and aunt, my second uncle and his wife, my cousin, and our own household. It was one of those rare chances that everyone all dressed-up and prettified and willing to take some pictures. A few of us ended up staying until the bride and groom came out of the church getting showered with confetti by the bridesmaids, then also taking pictures with the admitted perpetrators. We decided to make a take our leave to the reception, after going through two tolls we arrived at the hotel where it was held. The wedding attendees were escorted to a hall to start mingling, and I happened to talk to the bride's aunt and family a few times before finding out their relations. I congratulated the bride's father and was happy. I also took my first sip of alcohol ever at the reception since I was already past overboard with the wedding mood I got into. I even think it was a shrewd idea to include a bar at the lounge, for those easy, but tipsy introductions. I called my sister's drink the chumaloo even though I know the only similarity it has with the drink's original name was the “c-h”, but no matter, alcoholic drinks all tend to have funky names. It was a mix of milk, cream, and very little alcohol? Only the bitter aftertaste gave any hint of its presence. And after a few too many hors d'oeuvre sating too little of my appetite, the dining room finally shed open its door, letting the long suspended guests in. I was the last one there to fill the “young-adult” table, which also means champagne glasses included, yet I was the only one at the table below the drinking age (21). The hostess began the reception event, and we toasted to the bride and groom. I've already done the taboo, broke the law, so what's twice in a row worth? Unfortunately after the second sip, I admittedly gave up on least for the next few years, it felt like I need to dip my tongue in water to get rid of that bitter burn. The whole event was neatly and successfully executed, consisting of lots of dancing, lots of food, and lots & lots of alcohol. Every “young adult” there was holding some sort of alcoholic beverage by the time they hit the dance floor. (Another guy with the same name as me sitting at the table even brought his own beer holder, hopefully that is just a coincindence and not foreshadowing fate) Besides that, the father toasts were noteworthy, it was obvious how much they cherished their children and their newly acknowledged son/daughter. Anyways, this post is getting quite long, so I'll write about the most moving part of the wedding later. Lastly, Congratulations to Christina and Jeff, my indefinite blessings to you guys.

The Altar of Love! =)

Confetti shower anyone?

Limo of Love! *Just Married!*

Alcohol looks nice, but tastes bad (imho)

Lovely People (everyone's inebriated with love today)

The walnuts in there taste like candy