Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Watching love from the sidelines can be painful, but this time it surely didn’t feel like it.

It seemed like everyone at my table was getting along quite well. The camaraderie between these strangers bloomed well under the happy mood of the wedding. I was next to my sister, but she was being well attended to by the guy next to her, but I had little care about my own well-being because I was also deeply under the influence of the intoxicating mood. The environment was a perfect buffer against those lonely thoughts: “Where’s my hubby-to-be?” “Will that cute guy glance my way again since he nodded to me at the church?” “Could two guys’ wedding be as beautiful as this?”. I never answered them, I just stopped wondering; there just was no time to lose focus on myself. Optimism paved the way forward, and as that future path cleared in my head, I turned up in time to notice the light as well as the chatter dimming. A beautiful jazz sound permeated the room, sweeping through the room and stilling the air, or what also felt like the time around us.

The groom extended a hand to his bride; it was as much a gesture of his manners as it was an offering of his heart to hers. Fortunately the dim lighting conveniently helped to conceal her blushing face, just in case she did. All eyes were on the eminent couple of this night, they could withstand our gaze though, well, they probably weren’t even able to notice their surroundings. At that moment I thought they could think of nothing else except for each other. They walked to the center of the stage where they began to dance tightly within each other’s embrace, moving slowly and romantically. Her small hands were rested on his shoulders, he held her up and she became his support. Partners in dance and now partners in life. Now I was thankful for the dark room that hid my teary eyes. Seriously, the background jazz instrumental of 月亮代表我的心 (The Moon Represents My Heart) did little to keep our emotions from getting flustered and our tears at bay. The groom guided my friend with his forceful, yet gentle steps. Her feet swiftly stepped the ground and she followed his lead because she knew she could trust him. Their waltz ended up being a direct translation of their assuredness for each other. We could all sense how special this moment was for them, but it influenced us as well. I could feel their tenderness for one another, I could see his intangible love for her, and I could hear the music echoing her matching feelings right back to him. It was suffocating, in the way that their movements took my breath away. They moved in a languid fashion until the song of eternal love came to an end. Did time freeze right there? I know it did for them. But to not be rude to their guests they returned from their world, temporarily back to ours.


yannshadow said...

gay wedding is not allowed in my country . Marriage for a cert? it cannot tie him up ... -sigh-

nase said...

that was a real touching and sweet post from someone so young who managed to view a wedding in its simplest, purest form and meaning and furthermore with child like awe, somewhat captured the romantic moods set forth and the simple beauty of it. magical, eh. Why I have the feeling you're the hopeless romantic type wishing for fairy tale epics and swash buckling brooding dark knights in white horses to sweep you off your feet, eh? Cuz if it's true, then we are both guilty of such wanton pleasures, hehehehe.

Kris said...

If he marries you just for a certificate as proof he wants you then he is not even worthy of proposing to you, if you marry someone it means you are ready to commit your life to them or else I see divorce papers coming as well! Dx

LOL, so many things to respond to you. Well first, you cheered me up a TON, I don't know why you compliment my posts cause yesterday I was just reflecting on how I really disliked my writings of late. But...thank you! And I completely admit to the hopeless romantic part, but I'm not ashamed of it either!! cause I'm a realistic one if that's possible? I tend to believe things like that can happen, but they won't happen to me, sadly :( It's like finding your one true love, he's out there, but there's a slim to none chance that'll we'll ever meet. but MAYBE nase might get to be that lucky one among us :)